One of Those Days

Last week, I had one of those days. You know the ones. You do your best to get things done, reach for creative heights, and refrain from yelling at your family or snapping at the mom who just ran over your foot with her giant stroller. And nothing quite seems to work out. I sometimes have a hard time keeping days like that in perspective. Rationally, I know that some days are just like that. But I often turn my frustration inward, sure that if I could just buckle down, I could move forward on that big project/be a more patient parent/write the heck out of that fundraising letter.

But last week, I had a bit of a breakthrough. I was complaining to my husband about my lack of forward momentum, and he reminded me that we'd had a sick child, strange school hours/off days, and an addition to our already crowded weekly schedule. From his perspective, it was no wonder I was off my game.

And that is when I realized that "those days" almost always happen when I'm out of my routine. My work may be creative, but that creativity relies on my devotion to my daily rhythms. And when those rhythms get thrown off, so does my ability to do my most effective work.

Of course, disruptions to routines are inevitable. Not only that, I'm starting to think they're valuable.

"Those days" often can be precursors to a different kind of day: the days when everything I work on comes together almost magically.

By stepping off my usual path, I give myself the chance to look at the things I'm trying to accomplish from a new perspective. And I'm able to be fresh and more creative when I get back on track.

So next time I have one of "those days," I'm going to try to look at it as a gift, rather than a curse.

Although I still might snap at the lady who runs over my foot with her giant stroller.

2013 Reflections

Now that all three of my children are in school, I've noticed that time seems to move much more quickly than it used to. Although it's been an entire year, I'm still not entirely used to the idea of 2013…and here we are almost at 2014. Which means it's time to reflect! I rarely make New Year's resolutions, but I do like to take a few minutes at the end of every year to think about what has changed this year, and ponder where I'd like to be at the close of the next.

And part of those reflections is asking myself how well I served my clients this year, how the relationships are working, and how we can work to achieve even more in the coming year. Even if you're not a consultant, I think these are valuable questions to ask yourself at any time of the year:

What surprised you about the last year? Good or bad, surprises have things to tell you. Did a campaign you thought was sure-fire actually bomb? Did a relationship go awry? Did an idea you had on the fly turn out to be a life-saver? Reflect on those things that surprised you -- and why you didn't see them coming.

What worked well? It's easy to focus on what's not working, but I think the more helpful trail to follow is what is working. Chip and Dan Heath call it "following the bright spots" and I've found it to be incredibly helpful as I move forward each year. Where are things going right? Can you pinpoint why it's working so well? What can you do to keep that momentum going and even expand it? Can you apply any of those lessons to other areas of your life? While dwelling on things that went wrong might be tempting, looking at what went right often yields more positive results.

How can you make things that aren't working better? That's not to say that you shouldn't examine your failures. I had a colossal mess on my hands at one point this year, and although I'd love to pretend it never happened, I know that it actually has a lot to tell me about where I want to go in 2014. Where did you fail this year? How can you turn that failure into a positive next year?

I enjoy all this reflecting -- and find it deeply helpful. But even better is coming back to work on January 2nd and beginning to make my reflections reality. Bring on 2014!

(But if reflection isn't for you, you could try one of these ways to welcome in a New Year.)

Cheers! And see you in 2014!

"Shy" is Not a Bad Word

When my younger daughter was 2, I took her to the pediatrician for a check-up. The doctor came into the room and started talking to my girl, who refused to say anything. The doctor pressed her to answer, and my daughter refused. When she looked at me for help, I said, "She's feeling shy today." Oh, the hell I had to pay for using that s-word! The doctor lectured me about the words I use to describe my children, how powerful they can be, and how I could easily doom my child to a life of social awkwardness by calling her "shy" at such a tender age.

Not long after that, I switched to a different pediatric practice.

Look, I know that shyness is not valued in our culture. We're supposed to be outgoing and friendly to a fault, and while being introverted has recently become slightly more socially acceptable, being shy is still seen as a problem you should work relentlessly to overcome.

But as an essentially shy person, I honestly believe that shyness can be a huge advantage, if you're willing to embrace it (and if you learn to step out from behind it when it's not getting you where you want to go).

Shy People Are Great Observers

When you're not busy talking and mingling, you have a lot more time for listening and watching. While un-shy colleagues can make more contacts and bring in more donors, shy fundraisers often know better what to do with those donors.

My younger daughter -- the "shy" one -- is aces at reading other people and understanding intuitively what they want. Since fundraising is primarily about understanding what your donors want and how to give it to them, shy people have a great leg up when it comes to cultivating donor loyalty.

Shyness Can Keep You and Your Organization Safe

I loved that my girls were a bit shy. I never had to worry about them wandering off or talking to strangers. My son, however, routinely wandered off to visit neighbors he knew and meet those he didn't. More than once, a stranger showed up at my door, my little red-head in tow, saying, "Is this one yours?"

Direct threats aren't as common for fundraisers, but being shy can keep you from leaping before you look. The natural caution and reticence of shy people make them the perfect people to sit back and say to bolder colleagues, "What if?" -- saving the entire organization from chasing unproductive or damaging ventures.

Bottom Line: "shy" shouldn't be a dirty word.

Although it's easy for shy people to feel like they fade into the background, they can be extremely valuable to your organization -- as observers, as listeners, as an oasis of calm, as a voice of caution.

Make it easy for the shy at your nonprofit to participate.

• Give them space to speak without being interrupted or talked over by more boisterous colleagues.
• Axe the group brainstorming sessions in favor of post-meeting reflections. Allowing shy and introverted people to step back and think over what they've heard will give them a chance to contribute great ideas.
• Try to pull them aside routinely to see if they have any observations that might be helpful or important to your organization.
• Encourage shy people to come out of their shells and to take risks…while encouraging the less shy to listen more and think before they act.

Being shy isn't a disaster -- it's just a different way of being, one that can, and should, be valued in the workplace.

Fighting the Formula

The other day, one of my Twitter pals -- Kevin Monroe from X Factor Consulting -- asked me what copywriting tips I like to share with fellow consultants. It wasn't something I'd actually considered much before he asked, since a) I work in my kitchen and b) I'm usually on the receiving end of writing advice. But his question did touch on something that I have been thinking about off and on over the last couple of years. During the course of my 14-year copywriting career, I've dabbled in other kinds of writing, including publishing several feature articles and neighborhood profiles in The Oregonian and having a short story appear in VoiceCatcher.

During times when multiple deadlines were looming, I wondered if that moonlighting was hurting my main money-making endeavor, and I have downplayed my extracurricular writing in my professional life.  But I now think all that second-guessing was a mistake.

In fact, I think one of the reasons I have been so successful in my copywriting is because I have a richer web of writing experience to pull from.

Fight the formula

I have written hundreds of direct mail letters, and there is definitely a formula for the successful ones. But in following a formula you should never become formulaic. The minute you do, the letters you pen become stale, lacking the passion and verve that are absolutely necessary to convince people to give their money to your cause.

When I feel myself treading an all-too-familiar path in my copywriting, I know it's time to fight the formula. So I take another look with my fiction-writer's glasses on. Are there themes I can weave through this letter more effectively? Is there a character begging to leap off the page?

Then I put on my features-writer glasses. How can I make my descriptions more vivid? Are there sights, sounds, tastes and smells that would make the issues in this letter come alive for the reader? Perhaps I'm rambling and need to tighten everything up with a journalist's editing eye.

Let's face it, there is a LOT of writing advice out there, and good writing is good writing, whether you're penning a direct mail letter, a slick advertisement, or the Great American Novel. Sure, there are degrees, but the rules are the same: use action verbs, aim for clarity, be as specific as you can, tickle all the senses...

But knowing the rules and using them well are two different things.

Tap into a different part of your brain!

Try writing poetry to hone your ability to use imagery to make a point. Write a short story to put yourself in a different person's shoes and sharpen your storytelling. Become a blogger to learn how to encapsulate big ideas and personal feelings in 500 words. Try your hand at literary criticism or movie reviews to learn how to identify weak spots in your writing and in others'.

Above all, love writing, all writing. Play with language, revel in how words get put together, rejoice in how they can connect, inspire, educate, and move.

And don't just write. Read! Starting with this article about the business benefits -- it's scientific, people! -- of reading fiction.

My Month of Trying New Things

In the spirit of reinvigorating and revitalizing my creative and business endeavors, I promised myself to spend the month of May trying one new thing each week. It didn't have to be anything revolutionary or expensive -- just something that was new to me.

I entered a contest for a writing critique, attended a virtual conference, joined a Twitter chat and took a pile of clothes and an appetizer to a Naked Lady party.

You can see that none of these were once-in-a-lifetime opportunities or even particularly bold moves on my part. But they were new to me, things I hadn't bothered to make time for before, things I might have continued avoiding if I hadn't forced myself to branch out. Doing these few simple things brought new energy, interesting people, captivating conversations and new clothes (!) into my life.

Of course there were risks that came with broadening my horizons. I risked being bored, wasting my time, meeting unpleasant people, and any number of humiliations or discomforts that come from stepping outside of that comfort zone.

Many of us are naturally reticent to try new things, especially in the nonprofit world. Trying something new -- testing a new direct mail package, working in a new media channel, cultivating a new major donor -- can be challenging, expensive and filled with risk. Why push boundaries when the old ones make us feel so safe and comfortable?

Fear creeps in: What if I'm terrible at it? What if I look like an idiot? What if I waste a bunch of money for no results?

It's all too easy to make excuses: Do I really have time to add one more thing to my schedule? If I do this, I'll have to dress up/buy tickets/skip lunch/be social/be alone. What if that direct mail test bombs?

But the thing about moving outside your comfort zone is that it gives you a new comfort zone, one that's roomier and maybe even a little more abundant than it was before.

I felt so revitalized by my May experiment that I kept it up, attending a marketing and networking luncheon with a new professional group in June! I plan on trying something new every month for the rest of the year -- if not longer -- to keep my ideas fresh, my mind sharp and my horizons broad.

I challenge you to try one new thing this week. No expectations, no long-term commitments. Just one thing you've never tried before. I bet you'll be glad you did.

But either way, I want to hear about it!